Cute necklace -  Affordable Price. Own this necklace and immitate Lauren’s style. Immitation is the best form of flattery, right?

So as it turned out Jason could just be with Lauren on her birthday, whether he liked it or not remains to be seen. This episode opens with a montage of all of the Heidi & Jordan fighting, I think there is some foreshadowing going on. First scene and Audrina and Heidi are discussing Jordan and how the relationship makes Heidi feel less independent. I find it hard to believe that she was so independent prior to him. She basically says she is ready to dump him because he is a nasty boy and she wants her independence. Please let one female at Chateux Over Privilege have a spine.

Doorbell at Audrina’s and she opens the door to a phone fight between Heidi and Jordan. Heidi starts crying, I gotta say this crying jag Heidi is on is pretty fakey. She keeps saying he curses at her and talks nasty to her. She deserves to be treated like a princess and be with someone who loves her soooo much. Chickadee knows very little about love. Audrina tries to give her advice, poor dim witted Audrina, thanks for trying.

Teen Vogue, bad lighting. Whitney is dressed like a slutty librarian. She and Lauren talk about the birthday fun with J-dog. Whitney is impressed that he is acting mature, don’t get used to it Whit.

Enter Jordan to Heidi’s apartment. She decides to have a talk with him about how he talks to her. This argument appears very staged. Jordan refuses to change his ways, blames Heidi’s princess complex. Heidi says let’s go think about it and heads to the bedroom, Jordan goes out for a run and Heidi locks the door behind him, as if she didn’t give him a key two weeks into this relationship.

Jason and Lauren are eating at the outdoor cafe, not that food ever passes their lips. Jason says he wants to get a house at the beach with Lauren this summer. She loves the attention he is giving her. Lap it up Lauren it won’t last long.

Brian and Jordan walk in the park, dressed like complete idiots and doing more fake reality acting. Brian tries to give Jordan some advice for a special date. Jordan does not want to do anything that nice for Heidi.

Lauren and Heidi are discussing the Jordan/Heidi debacle. Lauren feigns interest and promises that she and Jason will “be there for her no matter what.” Heidi says she does not know what she thinks, I bet she feels this way a lot-because she is so dumb.

I guess Heidi has decided to cut the cord, she has piles of stuff packed up that I assume are Jordan’s leave-behinds. She is on the phone with her Mom and taking down all their pictures from her bedroom walls, how metaphoric. Jordan comes in the room. Tearful words are spoken and longing looks. They are just sooo in love with each other, I find all of this a little hard to swallow. Break up is imminent. Heidi holds her ground and I for once am proud of her. My girl even removes her key from his keyring, wow that’s permanent. Heidi snuggles with Lauren on the couch.

Can I just say that this is all very sad, but what I really noticed is how gross and dirty Lauren and Heidi’s apartment is? Ewww.

Next scene at the even grosser Jordan and Brian’s apartment. J-dog is in attendance for the post-break up discussion. The boys can’t believe they broke up. I guess Jordan and Heidi were their relationship moguls. No wonder all these cats are so screwed up, don’t look to these knob heads for advice.

At Teen Vogue, Whitney goes from slutty librarian to slutty jock girl and she and Lauren discuss the break up. Lauren tells Heidi that she and Jason are looking at summer beach houses. Whitney tells Lauren that she feels like she has to work…maybe Lauren should think about that kind of dedication, not likely.

At Quixote studios less pretty Heidi and dim Audrina talk about how sad Heidi is, but quickly shift to looking forward to going out and partying like they did pre-Jordan. Heidi is back on the market..woo woo.

Looky - we can look like Lauren too without having to pay an arm and a leg and Beverly Hills prices. I love this necklace and think it is very simple, but yet elegant. I picked up one for myself and a couple for some friends and it was a major hit. I love when you can look like a star, but pay normal prices. Call it a knock-off, I don’t care. All  know is I love to get the same look for less.

After the rocky New Year’s celebration, Lauren is looking forward to her 20th birthday. Whitney, Lauren, and Audrina join her on a birthday dress shopping day. Their first stop is a wedding dress store? Whatever, I guess that could be fun. Apparently Jason is planning Lauren’s birthday, I’m sure he will find a way to ruin it.

Back at Teen Vogue Lauren and Whitney are in Cruella DeLisa’s office talking about a casting call for male models. This makes the girls snicker unprofessionally. Why is Lisa always giving the girls their instructions? Doesn’t she have an assistant for that?

At Bolthouse, Brent calls Heidi in to tell her to invite her friends to a club that night. Again, shouldn’t he have an assistant to do that for him?

Whitney and Lauren plan the model shoot. Incidentally it is being held at Quixote Studios where Audrina works, the circle is complete.

At the big Bolthouse night out, Lauren lies to Jason about the gender of the models at her casting. He is already getting all crazy jealous, even though she said it was all girls. When Lauren tells Heidi about the lie, Heidi smiles over how mad Jason will get over this. It is not funny girls, this guy is a total psycho!

Whitney and Lauren play around the studio getting ready for the casting. Gratuitous shots of near naked male models. Whitney tries to hide her stares at the hot boys, this is the closest to bad girl I think she gets. They show an interview with one model who has bad skin, icky. Audrina invites one of the models out with them that night…uh oh bad choice Audrina!!! Danger, danger Lauren! Whitney flirts shamelessly.

Dinner with the girls at Bella, no relation to Heidi’s dog. Audrina spots her model man and his Eskimo-like friend. The boys join the girls at their table. This would soo make J-dog crazy with jealousy.

At Jordan and Brian’s apartment they boys enjoy some Gatorade. Jordan lets the male model cat out of the bag to Jason. Jason silently and angrily leaves the room, nervous looks abound. Next shot, Jordan and Heidi are doing laundry and Heidi berates him for telling Jason about the male models. Jordan says who cares because the Lauren/Jason relationship is messed up and immature as if he and Heidi’s is any better. Everyone knows what is coming for Lauren, poor gal.

Lauren and Whitney are moving some Vogue equipment around, and Lauren gets the text that Jordan told Jason. Lauren makes excuses for his irrational behavior. Whitney says Jason needs to get over this, “trust ish”, I guess she is making up her own slang now. Jason phones and calls her a liar, then he claims that he does not care. Surprise all around, I think this is a trick.

Chateux Over Privilege, Lauren gets flowers from Jason with a mysterious note that she should be ready at five and pack a shack sak. Wow, it seems that our little Jason has actually planned a romantic evening, flowers, candles, dinner, hotel…what a guy, I’m sure he will screw this up. Of course, he does not have anything planned for the evening and Lauren is indifferent. Jason, as one would expect, wants to go out rather than staying in with Lauren. She acts spineless for a while, but finally tells him that she just wants to hang out at the hotel with him. Jason can not get his big dumb head around this concept. He practices his bored look until the credits come up.

I’m shocked that he did not go into full out control freak, psycho boyfriend mode. I wonder how long this new leaf will last.

I guess Lauren and Jason are together as are Heidi and Jordan, these gals should know better than to put up with psycho jealous boys. The episode opens with Lauren & Jordan shopping for a gift, presumably for Jason. Of course, Lauren is going way overboard with diamond laden dog tags, rich kids are crazy!

The gang is buying a giant Christmas tree. Lauren says this is the first time she is going to decorate a tree because at home the kids are not allowed, I’m sure they hire someone for that. Heidi says sat her house someone always cries, over gifts they did not get. Spoiled, spoiled, spoiled.

Lunch at the noisy restaurant, inside this time though. the girls order lunch, that I bet they won’t eat. Christmas talk, Lauren wants a Chanel bag and Heidi wants a puppy. As if she can take care of another living thing. Fun shots of the two couples filled with Christmas spirit, cue the romance music. I really can’t imagine what these girls see in these loser boys.

Present time back at Chateux Over Privilege. J-Dog opens the gross but expensive dog tags. Jordan receives a bracelet from Heidi and a tattoo from Lauren and Jason. Heidi gets…a stuffed dog? Cheapskate, she is clearly disappointed. Lauren gets her Chanel bag and acts all cutesy about it. Of course, Jordan pulls out one last box with a fluffy little puppy in it for Heidi. The dog is so adorable it makes Heidi look a little less less-pretty. She names it Bella, my new favorite Hills character.

Moving on to New Years and the girls are at the hair salon. Jason is sending Lauren psycho text messages…run away sweet Lauren. Cut to Jason and Jordan working out, I guess you can call it that. Jealous Jason is complaining about another guy, David, calling Lauren. Get a life J-dog. Lauren back at the salon takes another call from him and apologizes for nothing, he hangs up on her. She explains the phone call debacle to the hairstylists and claims that she is not going to apologize, except she just did.

The guys are dressed like idiots for New Years and are acting like they are already drunk. The girls look hot. They all arrive at a super cool New Year’s bash. Everyone mac’s for awhile. Jason ruins it by bringing up Lauren’s friend and then acting all mischievous about their future, he is sooooo manipulative. Finally, Lauren calls him on his wicked game and they begin to argue. She defends her actions, he continues to act like a big jerk. She apologizes, he blames her, she leaves the club with what appears to be some assistance from a bouncer. Jason is a complete ass. Heidi gets in the cab and leaves with Lauren. Thanks for being a good friend Heidi, you owe it to her. Jason starts the psycho phone calls and Lauren hangs up on him. She is finally developing a spine!!

Jason gets some relationship advice from Jordan, not the best choice there buddy. Jordan is a jealous butt too. The guys take off after the girls with a bunch of flowers bought on the street. Who are the other guys in the limo with Jason and Jordan??? Jason calls Lauren and asks her to go downstairs to the garage, he even says, “if you love me you’ll come down.” AND SHE DOES!!! Sooo spineless!! Everyone kisses and makes up as the clock strikes 12. I’m physically ill.

It seemed last episode that things between Lauren and Jason are over, I hope so. Opening shot of the girls at a noisy outdoor cafe discussing celebrating Heidi’s upcoming six month anniversary with Jordan. Lauren said that in high school the good girls gave it up at six months, my guess is Heidi gave it up at six minutes.

Uh oh Heid gets called into the bosses’ office. Brent does not look happy, but he never really does. Surprise! Brent tells Heidi he wants to integrate her into working in the clubs, she is very happy. I don’t know how she pulled this one off. Oops, this Wednesday is the big anniversary-Heidi is even more pissed than Lauren was about J-dog’s birthday.

Speaking of J-loser. He stalks Lauren outside of fashion school and approaches her about what her problem was on his birthday. He makes excuses for his jerk-like behavior. Lauren forgives him, she is a spineless jellyfish and I hate it. Teen Vogue meeting, Whitney is looking all around, for Lauren who is absent. I guess it is excused, some test deal but she will be there for the big fashion show. Back at school Lauren smacks her gum while she takes the fashion quiz and simultaneously watches the clock.

On the way out of school Whitney calls Lauren to tell her about the big DKNY fashion show and scare her about the workload. At Bolthouse Heidi gets called into no name lady from the last episode and tries to get out of working on Wednesday. No dice. To add insult to injury she will not be allowed in the club during the event.

Oh and JerkJason spent the night with Lauren, there was a gratuitous shot of that. Jason drops her off to work, but I guess she is a little late and Whitney is all jammed up. Lauren gets reprimanded for being late by another Voguester, she deserved it but acts like she didn’t.

At Chateux Over Privilege Heidi tells Lauren that she invited Jordan to the club that she is not allowed to go inside tonight, I see trouble up ahead. Lauren thinks she is being put under a microscope for being “only like” five minutes late.

At the fashion show Whitney got the most important job, because Lauren is a slacker. Some dumb model is late and Whitney is chosen as the replacement, poor Lauren and the bad vogue lighting.

Heidi receives a gift from Jordan, earrings, what a lucky girl. They make out a little, six months is Heidi’s longest relationship, shocking

Fashion show, Lauren wrestles with a headset while Whitney gets too sexy for the catwalk.

Cut to club time, lets see how badly Heidi screws this up. First she kisses Jordan hello, not very professional. As expected Heidi heads into the club and plops a squat with Jordan. Some ex-date of Heidi’s shows up, I’m sure jealous Jordan can’t handle it. Yep, he’s angry and they argue, she’s totally clueless. She sneaks back outside to “work.” Brian and Jordan are jealous jerks. Outside Heidi goes out and gossips with the gals from Bolthouse.

Whitney struts her stuff at the DKNY Jeans fashion show. She does not fall, too bad for me. Cruella DeLove is so impressed with her as always. Everyone gushes, Lauren is a little green with jealousy.

Heidi and Jordan argue some more. This guy is a huge loser and Heidi would be a smarter girl if she jumped his overbearing jealous butt. I hope they break up.

Apparently Jason and Lauren are full out back together. She is shopping for golf clubs for him for his birthday. Yeah, golf clubs are an incredibly expensive gift Lauren, what are you thinking crazy girl? I guess mommy & daddy are buying.

Teen Vogue and Whitney and Lauren are having a shallow conversation about jeans. Enter Gloria, the fashion director, to tell Lauren how much she needs her for a big fashion shoot. Lauren tries to hide her stress over missing her plans with the J-man for his birthday, also Wednesday. Poor Lauren.

Gratuitous bikini scene. Audrina has a new date, some model…yuck. Audrina and Brian apparently did not hook up too much during the night cap. She and Heidi plan a signal to report on the date.

Back in the apartment, Jason just walks in or has a key or something, that’s weird. Lauren tells Jason that she has to work on his birthday. He acts all disappointed, yeah Lauren should dump him right now.

Audrina’s big date. Why is everyone so shocked that she has a job? I think this guy’s name is David, he’s a huge douchebag and he is wearing a dumb t-shirt for their date. During dinner he actually checks his messages, he says it is his agent, what a loser. This guy is a joke, like a caricature of the worst date ever. Phone call from Heidi, in secret code Audrina tells her that he is a douche. Audrina wants to shove his fork down his throat, me too.

The whole gang meets up at some restaurant, Brian joins them, then Audrina. They immediately talk about her date. Audrina seems on the fence about him, weird since he is clearly an idiot.

Teen Vogue photo shoot, Lauren starts arranging shoes. I think Goyle from HGTV’s Design Star was combing someone’s hair, what’s up with that?

Golf with Jason, Jordan, and Brian. Jason discovers the golf clubs. He calls to thank her, what a guy. Back at the shoot Lauren watches the clock and starts asking people how long they will be there. She complains to some model about missing J-dog’s birthday. He does not seem very upset at the golf course. Lauren gets more and more jammed up about being late and works feverishly. Lauren skips the learning experience of the beach shoot, dumb move.

Ok, finally time for the big birthday. Lauren and Jason take off. Jason tells Lauren she seemed excited to see him, maybe she should play hard to get. Jason says that after dinner if she wants to go home she can take his car, uh yeah, he’s a big jerk. Lauren agrees to go out if he wants to.

Dinner with all the cool LA friends. Pretty big crowd, Jason is being sweet to Lauren. Audrina admits that she used to work at Hooters, that is classic. Jason wanders off…maybe for a pee break? He returns and sits at the other end of the table. Lauren is clearly hurt and angry. Poor Lauren looks like she is going to cry. He says he is just being social, I doubt it. Sad looks pass between Lauren and Heidi.

Lauren decides not to go out with Jason after dinner. She tells him she is not going to fight with him on his birthday, bu then does anyway. He walks off and gets in the car with some hot chick and some other guy.

I guess we could have made the call that Jason would turn out to be the baron of jerkiness, but you have to feel bad for Lauren. Even if she should have known better.

We open with Lauren asking less pretty Heidi for medical advice on hiccups, as if. Lauren gets a giant floral arrangement delivered to her from Jason. I’m all for a girl getting flowers, but the deal he sent her was huge, more like a “Congrats on your new Massage Parlour Opening” than a declaration of love. Lauren always looks bad at the Teen Vogue offices, have I mentioned that it is like the Seinfeld episode where the girl only looks pretty in the diner? Weird.

Cut to Heidi doing grunt work at Bolthouse. She gets piles of unglamorous work dumped on her, I love it. Lauren dodges another phone call from Jason, who asks her on a date. This should be fun. Apparently she gave in and they meet for dinner at an awkwardly romantic restaurant. Jason is not so good at the emotion expression, he stumbles through telling her he still cares about her. He actually said he was waiting for her to “calm down”, yeah that’s not a great thing to say to a girl. They stare longingly at one another…puke puke.

Brent Bolthouse decides to leave Heidi home from a cool Vegas weekend at the Palms because she is not 21, that is awesome. She is soo pissed I love it. Maybe he would have gotten her a fake ID if she were prettier.

Jason brings Lauren flowers at work. Lauren has to ask for a lunch break??? Did she just start yesterday? Whitney seems a little jealous of the love Lauren is being bestowed. Lunch is at a picturesque outdoor cafe overlooking an incredibly busy street. The awkwardness is wearing off, they’ll be back together in the next segment. More longing stares. Jason picks up the tab and begs for another date.

Heidi is back at work, whining about not getting to go to events and do cool stuff. She complains to someone named Elodie, one of the weirdest names I have ever heard, locked in the bathroom. She gives Heidi the pay your dues speech, Heidi is unconvinced.

Back with ugly Lauren at Teen Vogue. She and Whitney discuss she and Jason’s relationship, Lauren is soo giving him another chance. I guess it is worth it since he still liked her after seeing her in the horrible Vogue lighting.

Pool time with Heidi and Lauren and the Sidekick. Heidi seems genuinely concerned about Lauren hooking back up with Jason. It’s nice to see a less annoying Heidi. Back at Bolthouse with Heidi and her busy work. Brent asks her to order him lunch, just what she thought she would be doing when she quit fashion school no doubt. Let’s see if she got it right. Nope, she forgot the green drink. Her co-worker seems overjoyed at her failure. Phone call to Jordan and she is planning to quit, that Heidi…what an idiot.

Lauren and Jason go to the movies, no making out yet but I’m sure it is coming. The theater is empty, longing stares int he movie glow. Hugs goodbye lead to smacking, I totally called that!

I wonder if Heidi can make it through another day at work? If Lauren and Jason can make it through another episode???