The Hills: Episode One

Welcome to the premiere episode of The Hills. Our reality star Lauren has left Laguna Beach for Hollywood to go to fashion school. Lauren is rooming with her best-but-less-pretty friend Heidi. I love the theme song, I can already tell it is going to be in my head for days…”the rest is still unwritten…” Catchy! Lauren arrives at what I can only assume is her new digs in her convertible, with her suitcases sticking out of the back. She walks away to the pool to see Heidi, as if no one would ever think to steal her bags. The girls mosey up to the apartment, complete with a spiral staircase, very cute. How is it that Lauren has never seen her apartment before, who does that? Lauren’s ring tone is an old school Journey song, how funny is that! Uh oh, it is Teen Vogue calling and wanting Lauren to go to her interview pronto, nervousness abounds. Lauren uses her flat iron on her skirt, been there done that.

Of course she gets to the interview looking completely put together. This is all very Devil Wears Prada, complete with a seemingly bitchy boss. Lauren is not the best interviewee, she uses the word like way too much. Not that it matters, I’m sure MTV got her this job long before the interview.

Back at the apartment, Heidi is laying by the pool with the new friend Audrina, they are all going to be best pals. First evening out with the gals and their boys. Heidi (who is a little trashy) is all over her boyfriend Jordan. They complain about working and talk about how much they party, I’m so impressed, not. These boys are douchebags.

Lauren and Heidi are at fashion school meeting with the director of admissions. Lauren talks to her intelligently, she comes off as very driven and committed to school. Heidi is up next, she is nothing like Lauren. Trashy, clueless, party girl-that’s how I describe Heidi. I can already see where sparks are going to fly. The director of admissions has that look like she wants to reach across and gauge out Heidi’s eyes for being so dumb. I can understand that feeling.

Back at home with the roomists. Lauren gets the call from some Teen Vogue guy who tricks her into thinking she does not have the job, then (as predicted) offers it to her, whew the suspense on that one was killing me.

First day at Teen Vogue and Lauren scopes out her co-worker Whitney, she is sticky sweet in a weird frilly dress and loud bracelets. The girls get fashion advice from a teen vogue lady who gives Lauren a jacket and Whitney a new belt…that’s weird stuff right there. Off to visit with the boss lady who gives them a stern warning that they are to behave when they are out and about or face the rath of Miss Cruella Deville herself, yikes. Enter editor Nicole with a stack of envelopes for the girls to stuff. Cool Lauren makes a Seinfeld reference that Whitney is clueless to-deduct one point from Whitney.

Back at the pool, Lauren makes it clear to Heidi that she will not sneak her into the cool Teen Vogue party or any other shady business. I think it is unlikely that Heidi will heed Lauren’s warnings.

Party time, minor celebrity appearances. Lauren is assigned guard duty on some benches, fun job. Of course Heidi appears outside wanting to get in. Lauren seemed shocked, I’m shocked that she is talking on her cell phone at work. Lauren folds and sends them to Whitney to get in the door. Whitney agrees, poor choice Whit. Heidi, Jordan, Brian, and Audrina crash the special benches. Heidi and Jordan get into an argument in front of one of the Vogue peeps, Lauren gets bitched at for it. The boss lady catches Lauren sitting down on the job with her pals, she’s in big trouble. She tells the so-called friends to scatter. This is no good, now she and Whitney are in trouble all because of less-pretty Heidi. The wild best friend is always trouble, we’ll see what happens next!